Now in all fairness, this little tit-for-tat has been going back and forth for a little while; between this teacher blog and homeschoolers.  I’m just catching up to the whole thing and I find it just as trite an argument as ever.  In all fairness, the gentleman who wrote this particular piece (linked) basically stepped in and tried to get both sides to chill out; but if I may throw on my 2 year old thinking cap for a moment, “She started it” sounds as good now as it did then.  And since I am bored (no doubt I should likely point that to my apparent lack of teaching skill, else I wouldn’t be so bored), I decided to tackle this guy’s comments.

He genuinely (of course, said after-the-fact that he “banished” us all to “let’s play nice” land) wants answers to his questions, so I am going to give them to him in true EB style.

Teacher, Revised

As a public school teacher who knows very little about homechooling, I would love to know what it takes to be a good homeschool teacher. I have questions like, How do you balance being both parent and teacher to your child?

As you have been answered on your blog by many, I will state the same: Parenting does not end once teaching begins. They are truly one in the same. I have both parented my girls from birth as well as taught them, from birth, everything needed to create healthy young children who began their young lives in the public school realm.  But since this question was asked with sincerity, I wish to ask you one with the same: Does your teaching stop just because you are also a parent? Or better still, do you stop teaching just because “school’s out for summer?” If you truly can answer ‘yes’ to either question, then I would dare suggest you have failed as both a parent and as a teacher.  One truly cannot be separated from the other.  Just because some people do not go on to teach within a brick-and-mortar school realm, does not mean they aren’t teachers.  And just because one is a parent does not mean he cannot be a teacher, either.  Teachers are found in all professions, though we may call them “supervisors” or “bosses” or “Human Resource Counselors”.  Their job, like yours, does not end simply because they leave the building.  They must go home to “supervise” or “boss” or even “Counsel” a family as well.  They lack no less skill at doing so simply because they choose to do it at home as well as at work.

How do you incorporate technology into your lessons?

You cannot be serious with this question? You claim to be sincere in your seeking of knowledge, yet you ask the most stupid question I have ever heard.  Tell me, do you also ask your wife how she can cook if she lacks a stove? Surely you know that one does not need a stove to cook, right? Yes, it makes our lives that much more convenient, but it isn’t a necessity needed to cook.  However, in the interest of fairness, I’ll answer your question: While I will concede to the fact that there are some homeschoolers who may live in modified caves without television, they aren’t completely unhooked from the rest of the world.  Why, in my own home I have :

3 desktop computers (and one broken one)

2 laptops

4 Nintendo DS systems

an Xbox

an Xbox360

all the Playstations

a Wii

a full surround sound stereo system

4 DVD players–one with the capability to not only copy VHS (WOW!) but also burn DVD’s as well

2 huge flat screen televisions

3 regular televisions

3 iPODS

4 cell phones

and get this: I even have an overhead projection system!

Holy Shit Batman! I don’t actually live in a cave! Admittedly, we’ve been blessed more than most, but I can assure you that even the staunchest “no television, ever!” (say it to the tune of “No more wire hangers, ever!) is technologically capable of teaching technology to their kids. Of course, since you asked how I actually incorporate it into my lessons, I could tell you all that I have done with any of the above, but I think it is fair to say that I don’t own this stuff for looks.  However, I will give you just one example, a simple one: DVD courses used to teach a subject that incorporate sight, sound, and ability to sit still for 30 minutes while taking notes.  That, in and of itself, can possibly wipe out SEVEN things on my list (depending on what kind of DVD I am using).  Now isn’t that just spiffy?

How do you go about teaching a subject you know very little about?

Admittedly, weaknesses do exist, even in (gasp! horror!) teachers.  I have a weakness for Foreign Language. It truly is a travesty, though, that I can’t figure out how to use one of my non-technologically created pieces of equipment to find a way to teach such a difficult subject, isn’t it?  Snark aside, the truth is, this is also a dumb question.  For one to claim so much education behind him without being able to show he actually uses said education, truly shows the arrogance of teachers, doesn’t it?  Really, thinking before you speak is one of the lessons in logic, or did you miss that class?  Truth is, what I cannot “teach”, my husband can. What he and I won’t or can’t teach, it’s a good thing there are companies out there who make it easy for us to want to teach it, yes? Plus, co-oping is a good thing (for some) and many use it.  I find it too much like the public school experience and I choose to find alternative methods, such as what I described above, to “teach” a subject I know very little about.  It’s amazing the plethora of stuff that’s out there.

How much homework do you give? Is it even called ‘homework’ when it’s assigned at home?

Well, since the very definition of “homework” is “work done at home”, I would assume all we DO is “homework”.  However, no, I don’t give ‘extra’ assignments to be done after I have finished teaching for that day.  The very reason homework exists is to keep the student busy, at home, with mind numbing and sometimes completely unrelated, pieces of paper just to prove you’ve taught them something that day.  Since I don’t have to prove this to anyone, my proof lies within the pudding.  And since I can make some damn good pudding, I think my proof suffices.

Do your students have to take the same standardized tests as mine? If so, how much test prep do you do each week?

Yes and no.  Since the very reason your students are failing is because of those standardized tests, why would I want the same for mine?  The FCAT is a laughable farce of a test and proves nothing to anyone except to educrats who think they know how to teach.  Now, to be sure, each state has different standards for what can be done to prove to them you are actually doing it.  I am thankful that in my state, I have the option of choosing the umbrella option and using a private school as my covering, for which no standardized test of any kind is required to “prove” I am actually “teaching”.  Especially since I don’t teach anything remotely similar to what is being “tested”.  What I teach far surpasses that.  We do utilize the IOWA test, having found it to be a decent (slightly) way to show us exactly where our children stand.  We also chose the SAT/ACT and PSAT as our standard as well.  Just for good measure I have a now 8th grader, who when she took the PSAT last year, scored in and above the 10th grade level.

Homeschooling just stinks, though, doesn’t it?

As for how much test prep I do a week? Maybe if you guys quit focusing on “test prep” and actually, you know, TAUGHT, these kids might learn something. And something useful at that, instead of “study, memorize, forget”.  No, I spend exactly one week on test prep–the week before, teaching them strategies on how to take the SAT (I can’t believe you need a strategy to pass a general knowledge test).  Any more than that, and I become like you.

In short, I want to know your best (and worst) practices.

We do not need “practices” to be able to teach sir.  If you are practicing, you can’t very well be called a teacher then, can you?  I have standards by which I teach my girls and by which I want them to learn, none of which I practice. The world is our chalkboard, our library, our teacher.  One walk outside, out back even, and I can teach them a plethora of things, all things more credible to the over all learning experience than what one would learn in the square fishbowl called a classroom.

And as homeschool teachers, aren’t you just as curious about the life of a public school teacher? If for nothing else, to rethink and reshape your own teaching philosophies?

Irrelevant to the discussion and a bit of a straw man at that.  No, I do not want to be curious about the life of a public school teacher, especially not if the goal is to reshape or rethink my own teaching philosophies. Why would I want to model educating my own children after that which does not work?  No, my own teaching philosophies are guided by my kid’s educational abilities, wants, and needs.  I may use the guides given for a four-year track high school graduate and issue credits based on that, but that’s only because the educrats refuse to see homeschooling as a legitimate and viable way of teaching.  And let’s not forget that my husband is himself a teacher.  A very in-demand one due to his background and degree.  I STILL do not want to model my philosophies after his.  What he wants and needs for his classroom of 30 are not his nor my wants or needs for our “classroom” of two.

Really, since you claim that this argument is laughable and getting old, why continue the fodder? I am NOT trying to take your job away.  No educrat is going to come knocking on my door and say to me “Mrs. Wilson, since you are such a wonderful teacher, would you come take over Mr. X’s job and teach in his place?” I am also unlikely to get a teaching job based solely on my experience as a homeschooler.  So why the worry guys? Honest, we ain’t all out to get you. I swear.

Toni